I recently had an interesting, useful day, and I’ve decided to write about it.
I woke up feeling low. Tired. Bored. Disinterested. This always irritates me; I get frustrated, wanting music to do something to me, wanting to get up early on a fresh Sunday morning and be productive, wanting to bob with energy. I knew this was very much due to a shortage of sleep, increasing workload and perhaps some hormones thrown in, but it was unhelpful and obstructive to wake up like that all the same.
I went downstairs, snapping at my family because the table was cluttered (it was actually in its usual family state- my mood had just decided to properly notice and pick out every piece of paper). I was honestly pushing myself further into an echoing grey box where miserable thoughts prowl around. The almost constant invigorating, thrilling golden syrups of my vision and dreams were being scraped back, and doubting reality was nastily sneering in my face.
This can get turned around. It can. I did it that day. I honestly thought, with a groan and a sigh, that I was going to have to accept that that day was going to be an ‘off’ day, that my feet weren’t going to be pounding down the road of inspiration.
But you don’t have to waste a day like that.
I realised that I needed to feel. I needed to get myself to move into a different hold of emotion, and from there I knew I would be enclosed and taken up into the soaring heights. The heights of laughter, and light-heartedness, stimulating energy and love. I would then love to be going along in my day, living.
I know that this isn’t a quick fix for many things, why, this could be seen as a naive teenage fantasy claiming to solve all ills. I know it won’t.
But this is for the bad, tired, slightly demotivated moods: go and find something which lifts you, makes you smile, makes you question things, stimulates you, energises you, reassures you, distracts you, inspires you.
I will be writing a post soon as to the places where I’ve found these in before, but for now, I can tell you that I’ve found that something in music, dance, people, films, quotes, exercise and the outside.
'We have the stats from that time. You know what they were complaining about the most? Inability to feel.' - The Handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood
'It's all right to wonder' -Reached, Ally Condie
Alexandra Shaw x