Judgement can feel like nails scraping away at your skin, lumps of you being gouged out, hole after hole. Or like a huge salted wave rising unrestrained over your head, overwhelm and intimidation rushing up into your throat, white foam hissing at you. Other people’s opinion. It’s a whole movement, a wall, a forceful body of water. A heat capable of burning your bones away to molten marrow so that they are sliding up and down with your muscles, swirling your red blood to paler pink, melting your being to the sludge of conformity, ready to slip this way and that for them.
There is defiance within you. Stronger than lead, more durable than concrete, darker than velvet navy sky, and lighter than knitted ivory clouds.
Defiance plays with you, it does, it has that mischievous characteristic; letting you keep leaning towards everyone else and then allowing you to start to fall…your heart lolloping out of your chest, your stomach folding itself up and then...
It catches you. It catches you and builds you and enhances you and pushes you upwards, not luring you downwards. It empowers you once again.
If you listen to it.